Schmuck of the Week: Crypto Chaos and Martin Shkreli’s Latest Antics

Welcome to Splinter’s debut subscriber-only column, where we navigate the labyrinth of ludicrous deeds and dubious characters. This week, we turn our gaze to a familiar face, Martin Shkreli, and a new crypto controversy swirling around a coin named DJT.

The Genesis of DJT Coin

The cryptocurrency DJT, reportedly named after Donald J. Trump, has become the centerpiece of a new debacle. Contrary to the stock DJT, a public company with substantial valuation, the DJT crypto coin’s connection to Trump remains shrouded in mystery and speculation.

Martin Shkreli claims that he and Barron Trump launched the coin, a statement that stirred the pot further when Roger Stone dismissed these assertions. The dispute adds another layer of intrigue and skepticism to the already muddy waters of cryptocurrency’s legitimacy.

Analyzing DJT: A Statistical Approach

In the spirit of using education to enlighten, let’s apply some grad school knowledge with a regression analysis on DJT’s performance:

• Stock Market Comparison: DJT stock is juxtaposed against the Nasdaq, using QQQ as a proxy. The regression analysis reveals a slope of 0.72, suggesting that DJT stock typically underperforms by 28% compared to the Nasdaq, a statistically significant finding (p-value: 0.00312).

• Cryptocurrency Analysis: The newer DJT crypto presents a stark contrast. In a regression against Ethereum, DJT shows a drastic decline of 359% for every unit increase in ETH/SOL, indicating severe underperformance (p-value: 0.000025).

Implications and Insights

The investigations and analyses suggest that investing in DJT, especially the crypto variant, is fraught with risk. The involvement of figures like Martin Shkreli, known for his controversial past, and the murky details surrounding the coin’s legitimacy paint a concerning picture for potential investors.

As the saga unfolds, we’ll keep an eye on developments and update our readers on this blend of finance, technology, and high-profile personalities. Stay tuned for more deep dives and schmuck-spotting in our exclusive subscriber-only content.